A Princess To Save
by dancergirl1013
Summary: "I've never been that girl that wanted, let alone needed, a prince to come save her. I've always thought it would be much grander to have a princess to save."


"Hello?" I called through the castle. It had been a year, exactly a year, since I had last set foot inside these walls, since I had heard the _click click click _of my boots reverberate through the empty space as I walked across these floors, since I had left behind those dearest to me because I couldn't handle the feelings that wouldn't- and still haven't- gone away, since I had said goodbye. It felt like forever, that year, and yet somehow it didn't seem long at all, like, in a sense, I'd never left. "Hello?" I called again. No answer. "Aurora? Philip?" Still no answer. _'Maybe they're not home,'_ I thought to myself and it made me wonder what I was even doing here in the first place. I felt silly. _'I shouldn't have come back,'_ I told myself. _'They probably don't even want to see me. I'd just be intruding.'_ Embarrassed, I turned to leave.

"Mulan?" I heard a voice call from behind me. "Mulan, is that you?" I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. I would have recognized her voice anywhere. It was the one thing that I'd missed more than anything else while I was away. It was the voice that spoke to me when I was lonely, the voice that narrated my dreams at night.

I couldn't help but smile as I turned around to face her. "Aurora!" I ran to her as she ran to me and my stomach filled with butterflies. We hugged and time seemed to stop. In all honesty, I wouldn't have cared if it had. I loved the way her arms felt around me. I loved the warmth of her body against mine. I loved the way I could feel her chest rise and fall with every breath she took. I would have been wholly content to live in that moment for all of eternity and when we finally pulled apart my whole being tingled with longing. "How have you been? How's the baby?"

"I've been well. Charles is well also. He's almost four months old now. I'd introduce you to him but he's just fallen asleep." Her eyes lit up at the mention of her son and she glowed with motherly pride.

"Maybe later then?" Aurora nodded. "And Philip? How's he?"

"Better than ever. He's a wonderful father, not to mention a wonderful husband." I looked around, sure that he would have come to see what was going on, where Aurora had run off to. She must have noticed my confusion. "He's not home at the moment, however," she explained.

So it was just her and I then. Alone. Just the two of us. The thought brought a smile to my face but I quickly shook it off. _'Stop it, Mulan,' _I scolded myself mentally. _'She's married. She loves Philip. _Him_, not _you_.'_ I'd been telling myself that for the longest time but logic couldn't even begin the diminish the feelings I had for her.

"Enough about me," said Aurora after a few moments of silence. "Come and sit down." She led me over to a bench under a large stained glass window. Once we were seated she turned to me and said, "How are _you_? You left so suddenly and it's been so long. I've missed you, Mulan." She smiled that beautiful smile I'd gone so long without seeing.

"I've missed you too, Aurora," I said, returning her smile. _'More than I could possibly describe,' _I wanted to add but I refrained, afraid that if I began to tell her how I felt I'd never be able to stop. "I've been well, though." It wasn't entirely untrue. Robin Hood and his men had treated me well and I had enjoyed my time with them but every time I thought of her I grew instantly unhappy.

"I'm glad to hear it," said Aurora and after pausing for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, she asked, "So, tell me, what made you leave?"

I hesitated to answer. I didn't want to tell her that it was partially her fault I'd, I couldn't. After all, I hadn't come here with plans to confess my love. I was simply visiting a friend. Finally, after careful deliberation, I said, "I received an offer from Robin Hood to join him and his Merry Men. I wasn't going to take him up on it, though. But then I began to think that it might be good for me, that it might be the next step in my life." That would have to suffice for an explanation. At least I hoped it would.

"Are you sure there wasn't another reason?" Aurora asked, raising her eyebrows suspiciously, her smile growing wider and wider. It seemed as though she knew something, a rumor perhaps. I could only hope that whatever she'd heard was far from the truth.

"I'm certain there was not," I lied, trying my hardest, and hopefully succeeding, to not let my worry show on my face. Was it too much to hope that she'd drop the subject and move on to another topic?

"Well I heard that you were in love."

"In love?" Could she really know? I began to feel sick to my stomach.

"Yes, in love. With Robin Hood," she clarified.

In love with Robin Hood? Me? It was a good thing I was still so nervous. Otherwise I might not have been able to stop myself from laughing at how ridiculous that idea was. At least she didn't know the truth. That it was actually her that I was in love with.

"Robin Hood? That's absurd. Where on earth did you hear that?"

"So it's not true then?" From the way she said it I could tell she was still skeptical.

"Of course it's not true," was all I could think to say. "I am in love. Just not with him." Why did I say that? I felt like kicking myself.

"Oh really?" Aurora inched closer, eager as a teenage girl to hear more. "May I ask with whom? It's one of the Merry Men isn't it? And you left to be with him, right? But then why would you come back? Alone, no less? Did something go wrong? Did he-"

"You're rambling, Aurora," I interrupted, afraid that if I didn't she'd talk forever. "And no," I added, "None of that's true either."

"Then what _is _true, Mulan?" she asked, her face full of confusion. I felt bad. All she wanted was answers and here I was, the only one who could give them to her, beating around the bush desperately searching for some kind of conversational escape route.

I hesitated to answer. I had dreamed for so long that I would one day tell her of my feelings but I knew that I never would. All of those fantasies had ended with her confessing that she had feelings for me, too, and I knew that that would never happen. I knew that, however sweet these fantasies were, they were just that, fantasies, delusions conjured by the most irrational part of my brain seemingly under the influence of my heart and serving only to further cause me pain as I forced myself to accept that they would never come true. "I didn't leave to be with the one love," I explained, carefully choosing my words. "I left to be away from them."

"Why ever would you do that?" Aurora's face twisted in puzzlement as though she was unable to wrap her head around the concept. "Love is such a beautiful, exciting thing. What would prompt you to run away from it?"

I took a moment to think, to gather my thoughts before saying, "You're right, Aurora. Love _is _beautiful but I'm afraid it's only exciting when the one you love, loves you back." The last few words caught in my throat and tears started to form in my eyes. I wiped them away. I wouldn't cry, not in front of her. I was supposed to be strong. I was supposed to be a warrior. Yet, here I was, letting my emotions seep to the surface of my being.

"Oh, Mulan," said Aurora as she pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry." She pulled away and looked me in the eyes. Have I ever mentioned how beautiful her eyes were? If not, then I should have. They really were breath-taking. "But you can't give up on love all together. Your true love _is _out there. I'm sure of it."

I wanted so badly to scream, _'It's you, Aurora! I love _you_!' _but I didn't. I fought all the urges to pour out all of the contents of my heart until every last drop of emotion was exposed, every last secret out in the open. I fought all those urges just as I had done from the time we first met. I'd gotten quite good at it over time, actually. I guess I'd had a lot of practice, hadn't I? Now it felt almost second nature to keep that part of me hidden, no matter how hard it tried to break free.

"One day," she continued, "Your prince will come and he'll make you happier than you ever imagined you could be."

I shook my head. Once again, tears threatened to escape my eyes but this time I didn't fight it, letting them flow freely down my cheeks. "No, that- that's not what I want. I don't want a _prince_."

"When I say 'prince,' I don't mean he has to be royal," explained Aurora, her mouth curving into a soft smile. "He might very well be a common man but when you meet he'll seem like a prince to you."

I shook my head again. She really didn't understand. "No, I understood what you meant," I said. Then I took a deep breath. _'Here goes nothing,' _I thought to myself. "I've never been that girl that wanted, let alone needed, a prince to come save her. I paused for a minute. Then I looked up at her face, her gorgeous face, and continued, "I've always thought it would be much grander to have a _princess_ to _save._" I closed my eyes. Intimate relationships between individuals of the same sex weren't exactly common in our world. In fact, most people had probably never heard of such a thing. I had no idea how Aurora would react.

"Then one day you will find your princess," she said without missing a beat, her smile never faltering, not even for a second. I wanted so badly to believe her but I couldn't, not when the only princess I'd ever truly wanted sat before me, unattainable.

"I hope you're right, Aurora," was all that I said. And as the words escaped my lips, I decided that even if she could never return my feelings I would be grateful that she was even a part of my life at all. After all, the only thing worse than never having a princess to save is never knowing one at all.


End file.
